But first, let’s get one thing clear: this isn’t self-help. Self-help just…sounds bad, ya know? Self-help feels like that book your Dad gave you in middle school after some dumb kid didn’t invite you to their party, so you read it and were like, “I guess I didn’t get invited because I don’t have a firm handshake or squawk at myself in the mirror each morning about how ‘worthy of love’ I am…? I’m confused. I’m just gonna go back to watching Friends and eating Lays Baked Potato Chips because they’re low fat, which makes them healthy. Yay - I love the 90s!”
Yeah, no. This is a “personal development” blog, which is sort of like the cool, grown-ass version of…whatever all that was. Here, at Health on the Rocks, I aim to offer practical, not-cringey life and health advice that doesn’t expect you to be perfect or to sacrifice a well deserved cocktail every now and then.
So if you’re looking to cultivate a better mindset, more self-awareness, and to become healthier - both physically and mentally - stick with me, and I’ll be your accountabilibuddy.
A recent study revealed that 50% of employees feel burnt out these days. That’s half the workforce!
…Yeesh.
What a time to be alive!
So how do we regain focus in this age of Zoom, longer hours, and seemingly overwhelming responsibilities?
Let's talk about the sexiest word in the human language: accountability.
Are you so hot right now, or what?
Kidding. But seriously, it's a bummer-of-a-word that I happen to be wildly passionate about. Why? Because this word holds the key to unlocking anything you want in life.
Cause here’s the thing: there’s a golden rule of goal setting that dictates that motivation and willpower don’t work.
Motivation and willpower are fair-weather friends, and they do not have your back. They’re wildly unreliable, and to employ them as the backbone of your resolution, would be to set yourself up for a very disappointing February.
They're like that "artsy burner couple" you sometimes go to dinner with: they're fun when things are going well, but ask them for a favor when you need them most and they're suddenly "out of pocket."
I know this sounds crazy coming from an accountability coach. I mean, isn’t that exactly what I’m supposed to be doing here? Motivating you to be better?
Not at all.
Counterintuitive as this all may seem, I'm sure it rings true.
Maybe you’ve gotten really motivated to get up early to hit the gym, get a nice sweat in before work, and then when the moment comes - BANG! Snooze button. Motivation GONE.
Or maybe you’re sitting in front of the TV late at night, and you promise yourself you’re only gonna grab a handful of pretzels until suddenly - without even really noticing - you’ve eaten the whole bag. Willpower GONE.
So, at this point, you’re probably wondering, “What the hell does work?" Simple answer: habits.
Now here’s a crazy statistic: habits dictate 40% of our lives.
Really think about that for a moment. 40% of your life is just on autopilot! Every time you brush your teeth, make coffee, or commute to work, you're likely engaged in habit, meaning that you just do it without thinking about it. No decisions are made, no motivation required.
Habits are effortless. Compulsory. And, more importantly, they’re long-lasting. So once you create a habit - you’re golden. It’s not goin’ anywhere.
So let’s talk goals. Those things you wanna achieve! Those results you want to see! That person you wanna become!
Your goals, whatever they may be, can be achieved pretty easily without the need for any motivation or willpower, so long as you simply implement the right habits. Those results you're looking for are just the inevitable consequences of good habits.
Habits are the algorithms that power our lives and determine our outcomes.
They’re the foundation on which we’re able to architect our ideal future.
And the best part? Habits make achieving goals feel effortless. They don’t require motivational talks or mantras or willpowers of steel. They're easy. You don’t even think about it.
So, the next question is, "How the hell do I create a habit?"
Habits are created through consistency, and consistency is created through accountability.
Put another way:
If you’re trying to achieve a goal, all you need to do is determine the habits required to achieve this goal, and throw in some accountability. It’s as simple as that.
Accountability builds consistency, which leads to habit.
For those who struggle with internal accountability (being accountable to yourself), it's important to set up a structure of external accountability by way of a coach, accountabilibuddy, or group who depends on you to follow through.
"Losing weight” and “being better at managing stress” are pretty general goals. They're not very actionable, nor are they specific. They're not things you could easily check off a “to-do” list.
Broad goals like these will oftentimes lead to stagnation and anxiety, because, let’s be honest, they sound super overwhelming.
So let’s get specific.
What does it actually take to lose weight and manage stress?
If you’re committed to weight loss, perhaps you can start by working out 2 days a week before work, meal prepping for 90 minutes every Sunday evening, or packing your lunch during the workweek. Sounds much more doable, don't you think?
In that same vein, "managing stress" might turn into meditating for 10 minutes every morning, getting at least 7 1/2 hrs of sleep every night, or putting your phone on airplane mode after 9 pm (so you’re not tempted to check your alerts, scroll social media, or refresh your email late into the evening). Again, much more doable.
Our lives don't exist in a vacuum, nor do our resolutions, so it's important to ensure you have support. Loop in a friend, partner, or, of course, a coach.
You need someone who will hold your feet to the fire and push you through your slumps in motivation and willpower; someone to help you stay focused, thwart excuses, and remember why you're doing all of this in the first place.
Because I promise you this: what's on the other side is worth it.
If you don't know exactly who that person could be for you, I invite you to apply for a complimentary coaching call, where we'll clarify your goals, break them down into actionable habits, and create an accountability structure for unshakable follow-through.
As far as I can see it, the path to happiness and confidence lies in the pursuit of balancing out two extremes: ambition and acceptance.
As a coach, whenever I ask people about their goals, most people include some version of, "I just want to be confident and happy!”
But here's the thing: neither can be obtained or achieved or even measured. They’re volatile and elusive practices with inconsistent outcomes.
This is perhaps why there's so much mixed messaging around it.
On one extreme, you have the shiny-shoed, glittery-eyed Tony Robbins' of the world, preaching that the path to self-actualization is through emotional mastery and bold action. “You can have everything you've ever wanted and more if you simply do the right personal development work!”
Sounds enticing, no?
But, if that's the case, then why aren’t all Tony Robbins’ fans billionaires with six packs and perfect marriages?
Don't get me wrong, I love a good Tony Robbins YouTube binge from time to time, but the whole “I did it and you can too” idea, though alluring, loses some credibility knowing that Tony Robbins is an incredibly intelligent, charming, and statuesque white male who speaks more eloquently and assuredly than most people ever could on their best possible day.
This is all to say that, while I like the spirit of all this stuff, if you ask me, it's just not that easy.
On the other extreme, you have the soft-talking, mantra-wielding spiritual gurus, quietly propounding that the path to contentedness is by being monk-like and wanting for nothing. "Just be mindful and present, and everything you need will present itself through the very act of following the breath and being in the now!"
Sounds easy enough when they say it like that, huh?
And yet, I know that, for me, it's so often the case that when I try to be still and "follow my breath," I somehow end up following a mental stream of endless "to do" lists and thinking about that stupid thing I should've said differently.
So…
One camp is telling us to rev up and act boldly.
And the other camp is telling us to slow down and simplify.
Who’s right?
Well, I’ve thought about this a lot, and here’s my take:
As tends to be the case with most things in life, I think the capital “T” Truth lies somewhere in between these equally wise extremes. On one hand, if you can’t find a way to be satisfied with enough, you'll likely never be satisfied with anything; on the other hand, if you never strive for anything, you're destined for a passionless life of stagnation and meaninglessness.
Thus, your happiest, most confident you is probably going to be a beautifully messy mishmash of contradictions.
It’ll be serene simplicity one day, and fiery ambition the next.
It’ll be a quiet morning reading a book, and a wild night out with the gals.
Like life, your happiest, most confident self will be frustratingly erratic and refreshingly malleable.
The path to the best you is less a straight, tree-lined path to bliss, and more a winding scenic highway that sometimes looks beautiful and sometimes makes you car sick. It's the kind of road without signs, proper lighting, or cell reception; the kind of confusing backwoods highway that makes you both marvel at its beauty and grumble in frustration as you yell absurdly at the open, un-answering road,
“It’s 2019 for crying out loud! We have Google Maps and Siri and all sorts of technology! How have they not figured this out by now?!”
And what can I say? It's a fair question, my friend. A fair question, indeed.
Scientists have discovered a new depression treatment more powerful than Prozac, Effexor, and the other four leading antidepressants currently on the market: your mind.
You've probably heard of the Placebo Effect.
It's become so ubiquitous that we rarely stop to consider its mind-blowing implications, even though it effectively “treats” everything from acute pain to chronic fatigue.
But, because of its clinically questionable ethics and the fact that we don’t fully understand how it works, many tend to write it off as evidence that people are gullible and too easily manipulated; the clinical version of a P.T. Barnum menagerie.
However, if you really examine the Placebo Effect, I mean really think about its implications, it’ll flip your whole world upside down.
Can our imaginations heal us?
Can our belief systems reverse sickness?
Taken out of context, these questions sound utterly ridiculous, right? And yet, there’s undeniable evidence supporting both counts.
For reasons still not understood, the simple belief that one is being treated for sickness (whether founded or not) leads to actual healing, improvement of symptoms, and in some cases, a complete reversal of illness.
Since the early 1960s, virtually every clinical drug trial has been required by the FDA to be “placebo-controlled,” meaning that, in order to become an approved drug, it has to prove itself more effective than a placebo. In other words, a lot of drugs work, but few work better than your brain.
This is not to say that your belief systems alone can heal all ailments, it’s just to say that you have an incredibly potent drug sitting between your ears, and that’s a powerful position to be in.
This "potent drug" is the reason I refuse to call myself a “health coach,” and instead opt for the title of “Wellness and Accountability Coach.” A health coach will tell you what to eat, when to work out, and how to make healthy lifestyle choices.
An Accountability Coach (which, for the record, is a title of my own creation) will do the same, but also ensure you’re leveraging the most powerful tool you have when it comes to your health and wellbeing: that lump of pillowy mass inside your scull, which is, paradoxically, both predisposed for negativity and overflowing with positive potential.
While this may sound like therapy, it’s not. Therapy is, in many ways, concerned about uncovering the “why’s.” Why do I act like this? Why am I this way? It's highly interested in the past and what has been.
Coaching, on the other hand, is all about future potential and action; finding what works and leveraging it. If a certain behavior produces positive results, we work on replicating, regimenting, and reproducing that behavior, regardless of why it works. For example, if meditating doesn’t seem to be reducing your stress, but beading bracelets, for whatever reason, transports you to a place of total flow, great. Grab the string, and let’s do it.
Coaching, in a sense, is all about finding your personal placebo pill combination; building a collection of little actions that allow your brain to do its best work and heal whatever ails you from the inside out. What makes you feel happy, well, and healthy? Is it yoga? Salads? Spending time in the outdoors?
Whatever your particular placebo cocktail might be, your best life means ensuring you take it with regimented consistency, just as you would an actual medication.
A recorded moment from my Mindfulness & Meditation event last week.
Ever since my near-death experience in Peru a few months back, I've been thinking a lot about mindfulness.
And I'm not alone. Mental health professionals, businesses, and wellness-seekers alike are all turning to mindfulness practices to reduce anxiety, enhance focus & creativity, and infuse joy and meaning into their lives.
So what is mindfulness, and how do we incorporate it into our hectic, digitized 21st-century lives?
WHAT IS MINDFULNESS?
On a good day, it's inextricable from gratitude. On a bad day, it's simply having a moment-to-moment awareness of what's going on in and around you.
This simple act has the capacity to heal you on many levels, reenergize your life, and foster compassion, resilience, and emotional intelligence.
Outside of deep meditation, that inner chatter never goes away. (Sorry.) Mindfulness is just about getting present to the chatter, without judgment.
HOW TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS IN EVERYDAY LIFE:
1. Meditate
Apps like HeadSpace and Inscape make it super easy. Also, don't feel like you need to commit 30-60 minutes to reap the benefits. Start with 5 minutes, sometimes that's all it takes.
Body scans are a proven way to quickly reduce stress and anxiety.
2. Do a Quick Body Scan
Close your eyes and bring your attention to different parts of your body. Notice tension points and try to relax them. "Breath" into each part, especially your tension points, starting with the crown of your head all the way to your toes.
Mindful eating also helps you lose weight and feel more satisfied by your meals.
3. Try Mindful Eating
Eat your meals slowly and savor every bite, noticing all the different flavors and textures, as well as how it feels in your mouth and going down your throat.
4. Find Your "Mindfulness Anchors"
These are daily actions that remind you to get present, even during your most scattered, stressful times.
My personal mindfulness anchors are things I reliably do every day: shower, lotion my face, and eat lunch. They’re not “mindfulness activities” as much as they are “things I’m doing anyway,” so I might as well make them mindful. For example, instead of just showering, I try to appreciate the feeling of hot water on my skin, and remove all other thoughts as I do so.
5. Allow Yourself to Just BE
All you have to do to have a mindful moment is to make a conscious effort to focus on the present moment, without judgement. This can be sitting in a sunny corner with your eyes closed or standing in line at CVS. It all counts!
They say lightning never strikes twice.
Well, as of last week, I happen to know for a fact that it does.
The sky is a dull haze of gray as we take off from the Cusco airport in Peru, a charming mountain town with an elevation nearly as wicked as its spicy cuisine. We’re en route to Lima, where a fancy dinner reservation awaits us, a final meal before we head back to the States.
That dinner never happens.
About ten minutes after our departure, there’s a bit of turbulence as Cusco fades from view and a thick, textureless fog overtakes the plane.
An early morning of Amazonian jungle activities has me beat, and I start to doze off listening to a podcast interview with Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese zen mindfulness guru, speaking on the topic of suffering and how we should aim not to avoid it, but to embrace it as a tool for cultivating compassion and an awakened appreciation for all life has to offer, both the dark parts and the multitudes of tiny miracles we take for granted every day.
Amen, Thich Nhat Hanh. Amen.
I’m floating in and out of sleep, half dreaming and half pondering the casual miracles of life, when—
BAM!
My eyes are closed, but I can still see the flash through my eyelids. More importantly, I feel the flash, which shakes the entire plane in a quick, sharp jolt, like someone pushing you from behind suddenly. Reflexive gasps and screams reverberate through the cabin, as previously silent passengers start to sit up, look around, and whisper feverishly in different languages.
I pull out my headphones and turn to my travel buddies.
“What the hell was that?”
A heavy, expectant silence ensues, as we passengers wait impatiently for an announcement over the intercom, hopefully a friendly voice assuring us not to worry, this kind of thing happens all the time.
Instead, a sparse series of dings and the occasional flashing of a “fasten seatbelt” sign.
I take a long, shaky breath and tighten my seatbelt.
Some more time goes by. Still nothing.
I put away my headphones and pull out my paperback, trying unsuccessfully to concentrate on the words, as I compulsively glance out the window and read the same three sentences over and over again.
The turbulence continues. I can’t help but think about that scene from the pilot episode of “Lost” as I take a long, unsure breath.
A couple more dings from the seatbelt sign, and then—
BAM!
Again? What the hell is going on?
Now people are starting to lose their shit. Serious conversations begin flying around in every direction in every language. Spanish, German, English, French. Turns out, losing your shit sounds just about the same in every language.
Once again, an excruciating silence ensues from the captain and crew, until finally, mercifully, the captain’s voice comes over the intercom, rambling something in Spanish I don’t quite catch in a tone that isn’t panicked per se, but certainly less than reassuring.
More chatter, more verbal chaos. All the while the plane is shaking and rumbling.
A flight attendant gets on the speaker and informs us, in English, that we’ve been struck by lightning, and we’re going to have to make an emergency landing and head back to Cusco.
Oh, crap.
People start whispering frantically again, eyes wide, hands clutching armrests. A woman down the aisle from me bows her head and mumbles a prayer in Spanish.
The plane tilts and around we go, headed back from where we came, and back into the heart of the storm, the only way down.
The temperature in the cabin starts to descend, or so I sense, as I notice myself shivering.
If I make it out of this storm, I will be soooo mindful! Like, the most mindful person ever! I won’t take anything for granted!
After what seems like an hour, but I think was actually around 25 minutes, the plane touches down successfully in Cusco, as passengers applaud and hug.
The collective sigh of relief feels palpable.
Eventually, people start to snap back into their individual lives, the thick bind of shared experience slowly unraveling, as people take out their phones, turn to their travel partners, and collect their belongings, the stiff formality of strangers in a room taking hold once again.
“Welp, I guess we’re gonna miss dinner,” my fiancé says, always cool as a goddamn cucumber.
“Things could be worse,” I say.
“I think I’m ready for a beer,” my friend Jeremy adds. Jeremy always has the best ideas.
Nods all around.
Beer’s not really my thing, stubbornly healthy as I am, but later, in the airport, after being chaotically rerouted amidst a scene of screaming travelers not unlike Lord of the Flies, I purchase a mini bottle of twist cap Malbec from a sandwich stand.
And, I gotta say, this stupid little bottle of mediocre airport Malbec is one of the best glasses of wine I’ve ever had in my life. It’s sour-sweet juices flow deliciously down my throat and warm my chest, making me feel instantly cozy, like petting a kitten or putting on a soft sweater straight out of the dryer.
Wine is so good.
Life is so good!
My fiancé is so good!
My friends and my family and my whole friggin’ existence is so good!
And for one fleeting moment of extreme, exhilarating clarity, I have a pure and unadulterated understanding of zen mindfulness, an understanding I’ve never quite been able to grasp on my yoga mat or in meditation class. And like the “ding!” of a fasten seatbelt sign, a light goes off in my head.
Oooooh. So THAT’S what mindfulness is.
It’s a twist cap bottle of airport wine.
An appreciation of your feet being safely on the ground.
The quiet bliss of a shared sigh with a fellow passenger who doesn’t speak your language.
Mindfulness is just the practice of being so stoked that you’re alive. That you’re not dead in a Peruvian ditch somewhere! That even if shit hits the fan, which it inevitably will, at least we’re all hitting it together, united in our shared experience of occasional suffering, fear, pain, and pleasure too.
Namas-fucking-te!
I knew I wanted to write a blog post about my trip to Peru— maybe on the health benefits of quinoa or how enlightening it was to do my first digital detox in 3 years— but I never thought I’d end my trip atop a mindfulness soapbox, writing wide-eyed and wistful about the unspeakably beautiful miracle of airport twist top wine.
But here I am, knowing in my heart of hearts that the key to life is this**:
**presented in the traditional zen style
The key to life
is knowing the difference
between simply drinking wine
and tasting wine,
savoring it,
relishing it,
cherishing it,
in all its
acidic,
sweet,
and bitter
glory.
Also, twist caps! So convenient, right?
It's been a rough week for wellness enthusiasts.
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow's $250 million lifestyle-and-wellness business, Goop, has agreed to pay $145,000 in civil penalties for promoting false and unscientific claims regarding— wait for it— jade vagina eggs and depression-curing "flower essence" sprays.
But who's surprised? Wellness scandals feel as ubiquitous as oat milk lattes these days.
Whether it's Activia Yogurt's scientifically unfounded "clinically proven probiotic bacteria", the hasty deletion of Kim Kardashian's weight-loss-lollipop post, or the stepping down of Lululemon's CEO for certain #MeToo shortcomings, the self-care movement is feeling more and more on the verge of collapse, like a house of Intuitive Healing Tarot Cards.
When I tell people I'm a Wellness Coach, I can sometimes sense I'm being perceived as just another entitled millennial snowflake, parading a passion for afternoon naps and aromatherapy salt scrubs as a job worthy of income and respect.
First off, I'd like to shake the hand of anyone that assumes I'm a millennial. (I'm 30. But yoga keeps me young!)
Second of all, before anyone goes throwing avocado toast in my face, I'd like to respectfully state my case in defense of wellness.
So pour yourself a tall glass of matcha and saddle up my friend, cause I'm about to blow up everything you thought you knew about wellness junkies. (Before I start though, I'd like to invite you to soften your belly and take three deep inhales and three deep exhales. Mmm. You feel better now, right?)
Here goes.
Let me ask you something: what do you want most in life?
Love? Success? Power? Happiness?
These aren’t destinations, they’re states of being— fleeting ones, no less. And no job title, income bracket, or loved one can give it to you unless you’re willing to give it to yourself. If you've ever had the experience of succeeding at something big but still feeling exactly the same afterward, you'll know exactly what I mean.
You already have within you everything you want and need, hiding between the hastily pinging synapsis inside your own skull, it’s just a matter of recognizing and feeling it.
You’re already “whole,” as they say in the wellness community.
“Oh, ok, cool, I guess I’m ‘whole’ then; problem solved, I’ll see you later!”
…Said no one ever.
Listen, deep down we all know this concept of internal plentitude to be one of the Big Capitol T “Truth”s (and money can’t buy you happiness, power won’t give you purpose, yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it), but knowing it and feeling it are two deeply separate things. So the question then becomes: how do we feel happiness, love, success, and all the other things we hustle so hard for in life?
I'd argue that it’s a practice, which, like any other practice, takes time, repetition, and an annoying amount of unwavering persistence. You can't just decide you're "whole," you have to practice feeling it.
So: what if, throughout the course of each day, you embedded within your life little rituals and habits that gently reminded you that everything you want and need can be found within? That you have the extraordinary capacity to gift yourself respect, love, happiness, and success on a daily basis, like a delightful little door prize awarded simply for surviving the day. That you can stop worrying about pleasing and pretending and instead sit back and enjoy this fleeting roller coaster life. To me, that’s what wellness is. It’s not a kale smoothie or an $80 bottle of cucumber lotion or even the Kardashian-status beach body you know deep down is a genetic impossibility for you. It's the daily practice of wholeness and self respect.
With every stair climbed and vegetable chopped you’re sending a signal to your brain— whether conscious or not— that you’re worth the things, you do for yourself. Taking care of yourself physically means taking care of yourself physiologically. But it’s tangible, it's achievable, and, in my opinion, it's the world's best catalyst towards self-actualization and self love.
And, with that, I rest my case.
Namaste.
Let’s set the scene: it’s the early 1980s and the “war on fat” has just begun. The government, citing now-debunked research, decides that in order to be healthy, people need to reduce their fat consumption and focus on eating lower-fat foods.
The snack industry, of course, sees an opportunity here.
They take their higher fat products, reduce the fat content (in many cases just replacing it with more sugar), and market these products as “low-fat foods”.
Consumers stroll through the snack aisle and think,
“Man, I really want some cookies, but I know I shouldn’t be eating them. Maybe I’ll just forgo the Oreos and get these healthy, Low-Fat Snackwell Cookies instead. Win-win! Damn, I’m good at grocery shopping!”
And that is how the "The Snackwell Effect" came to be.
Our shopper, sitting down that night for an episode of Married with Children, grabs the box of cookies.
But, instead of eating her usual 5 Oreos, she chomps away at the “healthy” Low Fat Snackwells and ends up eating a full 15 cookies.
"The Snackwell Effect" is a psychological phenomenon wherein people defeat the purpose of eating a lower calorie food by eating way more of it than they would its higher calorie counterpart, consuming more calories overall.
In short, by buying a food they deem “healthier,” they end up being worse off than if they had just gone for the unhealthy food they wanted in the first place.
So next time you accidentally polish off that big bag of Skinny Pop or finish your second bowl of Go Lean Crunch Cereal, remember that, despite your best efforts, from a caloric standpoint, you were probably better off with the Jiffy Pop and the Lucky Charms.
Th is one of the many reasons why intelligent dieting is so important.
Intermittent Fasting is one of the biggest budding trends in the health and fitness world right now.
And for good reason.
More and more research is being done every year, and so far all signs point towards improved cognitive function, increased fat loss, and enhanced immunity.
In other words, it'll make you healthier, sharper, and thinner.
And I can tell you firsthand, it’s changed my life for the better.
What exactly does it do, you ask?
reduces inflammation
increases your metabolic rate (making it a great accelerant for weight loss!)
drops your insulin levels
aids with cellular waste removal
enhances hormone function
improves cognitive function and productivity
helps avoid Alzheimer’s and Parkinson
In short, fasting gives your body the time it needs to repair itself in many ways, without the added stresses of digestion.
So what is Intermittent Fasting?
Now, there're a couple of ways to do it, but, if you ask me, the easiest way to intermittently fast is to basically just skip breakfast and wait 'til the afternoon to eat.
And that's it!
Easy.
"But wait, wait, wait! Isn't breakfast the most important meal of the day?!"
If you look to the government, WebMD, or most people's mothers, you'll probably get an emphatic "Yes!"
And that's fair.
There's a lot of science out there to back them up, maintaining that this beloved daily routine improves focus, helps manage weight, and increases overall energy, making you healthier, sharper, and thinner.
Sound familiar?
Yep, that's because there's a lot of science (and pseudoscience) on both sides arguing for very similar health benefits, and, of course, everyone's got their proverbial panties in a twist over it.
Who to believe?
Well, first of all, everyone's body is different and, as is the rule with all things wellness, no single approach works for everyone.
However...
It's worth mentioning that a lot of the funding for these "pro-breakfast" studies have been conducted by the same people who sell you sugar-coated, hyper-processed cereal, promising healthy, happy mornings packed with "whole grain goodness," Vitamin D, and Calcium.
Thanks for that, Trix Fruitalicous Swirls cereal.
(By the way, that whole grain ingredient they're bragging about is corn.)
So take all arguments on all sides with a grain of salt, and find what works best for YOUR unique body.
That said, I'd strongly encourage you to just try Intermittent Fasting.
You'll have to push through the first 2-3 weeks, but if you can make it past the hump, you'll know 100% if it it's for you cause you'll just feel so much better overall.
So you wanna try it?
It's really not hard, it just takes some extra planning.
Here're some tips for getting started:
Make sure your dinner includes a good amount of healthy fat and protein (which will keep you satiated for longer)
Keep drinking coffee (coffee, tea, and any other beverage under 50 calories won't break your fast, plus the caffeine will help suppress hunger)
Keep yourself busy (mental distraction is key when getting started)
Try to avoid smelling food in the morning (smells can subconsciously trigger digestion and make you hungry...so mouth breath as you walk past that Panara on your way to work)
Again, these first few weeks may not be easy. You’ve been eating one way for probably the majority of your life, and breaking from that may send your body into confusion, panic, or “hanger.”
You may experience temporary dips in energy or grouchiness— just know that that’s totally normal, and it only gets easier with each passing week, as your body adapts and resets its physiological habit responses.
Also know that a lot of the initial resistance you may feel is mental, so try your best to keep an open mind and a strong sense of willpower.
And even if you decide that this is not in fact the path for you, it's still wise to allow 12 hours between dinner and breakfast regardless, as your body still needs a daily break from digestion, which is a rather demanding process.
But try it out and let me know how it goes in the comments section below!
Here's a link to additional resources if you wanna dig a little deeper into this.
The holiday season is upon us, and you know what that means: family, merriment, and heavy boozing.
Whether it’s a glass of red wine, or six, at the Christmas Eve dinner table, some spiked eggnog, or shots of whiskey with your cousins in the basement trying to forget your drunk uncle’s off color jokes, the holidays can be stressful.
And they can be joyous and merry and filled with love and gifts and hugs and no one judges you when you ugly cry watching "Love Actually" four consecutive nights in a row.
But whether they’re euphoric or whether they’re stressful, either way, they will mostly likely be unsober.
So here’s how to booze better in this beautiful holiday season, so that you don’t wake up January 1st wanting to crawl down a shame hole and die for worst three months of year.
Sound good, cookie?
So drinking and maintaining a healthy lifestyle can often be at odds, but it can be done— there is indeed a way to have your cake and eat it too, if you do it right.
Rule number one when you’re drinking:
Water!
You absolutely, 100% need to be consuming water.
Otherwise, you’ll wake up with a shitty hangover, hungry as Fashion Week, and you'll most certainly skip the gym and be craving crap food all day.
So here’s the rule: for every alcoholic beverage you have, you need to be chugging a full glass of water afterwards (preferably without ice).
Every.
Single.
Cocktail.
Minus maybe one if you’re feeling the need for some extra buzz— but just one.
Rule number 2: eat, but not too much.
So eating before you drink might seem counterintuitive.
"I mean, if I don’t eat before, I’ll get drunker quicker and drink less overall, right?"
True.
But getting drunk and sitting down at a dinner table is like walking into a pick up bar with a nice buzz: ya got drunk goggles on and reflecting back on your actions the next day, you might find them less attractive in the harsh light of morning.
In other words, you’re at high risk of overeating and making unhealthy choices.
Go into your drinking situation with something healthy already in your stomach.
If you’re going to a party, eat a light, healthy dinner before, not after.
And if you’re enjoying a pre-dinner cocktail, have a healthy snack before that— hummus and veggies, cottage cheese and fruit, a hearty protein shake, etc. Just have something clean and wholesome in your stomach to buffer the booze.
Buzzed overeating, more than anything, is what gets people during the holidays.
Drunk Goggles = Bad Choices
Which brings me to my final rule, which is:
Rule number 3: make a plan and know your limits.
If you know you’re going to be drinking on a given day, hydrate as much as you can, and plan calorically for the shitshow that’s about to go down later on.
And before you commence activities, make it a point to say out loud to another human being “I’m only gonna have three drinks tonight and I’m only going to allow myself one cocktail with sugar in it,” or whatever your goal may be.
(Helpful Hint #1: try to make these goals realistic).
(Helpful hint #2: if you wanna double down on your goals, tell a friend or family member you’ll buy them a pricey bottle of champagne if you don’t stick to your plan. And trust me, everyone likes champagne, and that person will watch you like a hawk all night.)
And, of course, know your limits.
Plan smartly.
Don’t be stupid.
And, more importantly, don’t be unrealistic.
I'm not ashamed to admit: I’ve carried around organic jerky sticks in a clutch before, double fisted water and booze for entire nights out at a bar, left parties for twenty minutes to go eat a carton of cottage cheese by myself half drunk in my heels at a deli. And I feel great about all those decisions. Cause ya know what? I always make it to the gym the next day.
So, yes, my dear Bar Flies, it can be done. It just takes a little extra thought, a little extra effort, and the occasional organic jerky stick in your clutch.
You got this.
Did you ever see that Bradley Cooper movie "Limitless" with the pills that essentially make you the superhuman version of yourself?
Now what if I told you that you had a secret, unending supply of holistic limitless pills hiding right in your own home?
They’re free of side effects and all you have to do for payment is keep your head on a pillow for 7-9 hours a night.
Would you do it?
Proper sleep simply will make you the best version of yourself. It'll make you smarter, thinner, happier, and, without enough of it, you're primed to gain weight, become depressed, and...wait, what was that last one?...oh yeah: forget stuff.
So I know it’s hard to make the time and we’ve all got super busy lives. But there're some really simple, small changes you can make here and there that, over time, will help you start to create better habits and put you into the flow of getting enough sleep.
1. Make a bedtime ritual for yourself
For me, I wash my face, brush my teeth, and read a book in low light. It doesn't have to be complicated, it just has to be consistent.
2. Exercise
It helps tremendously in both falling and staying asleep, as well helping you stick to a somewhat consistent sleep schedule.
3. Avoid bright lights before bedtime
4. Turn your clocks away from you and stop stressing about the time
5. Power down!
Turn off the TV, shut down your computer, and stop checking your iPhone. I know this one's the toughest, but it's also the most effective.
If you love being engaged in some way as you fall asleep, listening to a podcast or reading a book in low light should do the trick.
6. Channel your inner-Eric-Northman/Bill-Comption/True-Blood-character-of-choice, and keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet
Buy some earplugs, invest in some blackout curtains, and try to keep your room temperature around 60-67 degrees.
Listen, you work hard and you owe it to yourself (and the people who have to be around you) to make sleep a priority.
So go forth my dear Bar Flies and cultivate that precious relationship between you and your pillow.
Demand your sleep!
Cherish it and honor it with the respect it deserves!
Now go forth and go to bed!
Willpower.
The answer to all of life’s problems, right?
But did you know that your willpower is actually a finite resource, and it fades over the course of the day?
Every time you make a decision, modify your behavior in pursuit of a goal, or suppress an emotion, you slowly chip away at your willpower stores.
This is why your unfortunate Ben and Jerry’s habit rears its ugly yet oh-so-delicious head at 11:30 at night and not 10am.
Or why after a tough, stressful meeting, you blow up at your husband on the phone about the dry cleaning.
It’s just that you’ve depleted your willpower stores— you got nothin’ left to draw from!
But this sucks, right?
Cause, most of the time, we don’t really have control over where our stress, emotional strain, and mental depletion comes from.
However, there IS a solution to this willpower dilemma…
But first, we need to start by recognizing that willpower is like a muscle, and the more you flex it and condition it, the stronger and more ironclad it becomes.
In practical terms, this means putting in the time and staying super consistent with whatever changes you’re trying to implement.
Maybe it means telling the people in your life to hold you accountable for clean eating. Or setting your alarm clock annoyingly far across the room so you HAVE to get out of bed earlier. Or actually paying for that creative writing class so you actually do your writing each week.
Whatever it is, whatever it takes, you gotta do it consistently.
Whew.
But that can get kind of exhausting, right?
And also, no matter how much time you spend conditioning and training that willpower muscle, it’s still a muscle and there’s only so much it can take, cause, as it turns out, you’re only human.
So how do we manufacture this consistency long term in a way that doesn’t, well...suck?
The answer lies in your habits.
Ah, yes, habits. Those sneaky little practices that dictate about 40% of everything we do throughout the day.
All habits exist in a loop consisting of 3 parts:
The CUE
The ROUTINE
The REWARD
A CUE is a subconscious trigger for your brain to switch into “autopilot”.
For example, walking into your bathroom in the morning and turning on the shower. (The ROUTINE being the shower, and the REWARD being slowly coming into wakefulness by way of a steamy, comforting downpour of hot water).
These cues are often deeply wired into our system and are very hard to change. We do however have control over our routines.
So let’s say we wanted to brush our teeth instead of taking a shower.
Simple!
Just identify the CUE, which would be “walking into the bathroom in the morning,” and then instead of reaching for the shower nob, get in the habit of pulling out your toothbrush instead.
Thus, the key to overcoming your bad habits is just getting really good at recognizing and acknowledging these cues.
Waking up and immediately hitting the snooze button…
Starting the prepare dinner and cracking open a bottle of wine…
Getting home from work and turning on your TV before you can even think about getting out your gym clothes…
And once you start to recognize these slippery, self-sabotaging cues, you can hack into your routines, switch things up, and basically get anything you ever wanted from life.
Not bad, eh?
Now I wanna know: what’re some of YOUR habit cues? Comment below and I promise to give you the personal attention you need to help you work through them!
Wherever you are, take a deep breath, cause I got a big dose of reality coming your way and it’s gonna sting like a shot of dive bar tequila.
Diets.
Don’t.
Work.
Sounds nuts coming from a Wellness and Accountability Coach, right? But hear me out.
Diets don’t work because 80% of people will gain the weight back in less than a year (and, in all but 15% of those cases, will end up even heavier).
Yep, it’s been statistically proven that only a lucky 20% will actually keep the weight off.
“Wait, wait, wait. 20%?! That’s it?”
It’s alarming and totally unfair, yes, but before you go throwing your hands in the air and crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, let’s take a moment to examine how and why this happens, and how we can overcome the odds with a little thing I like to call the *secret sauce.*
Let’s start with why 80% of people fail at trying to lose weight and improve their health in significant ways.
The first has to do with metabolism.
Your body is, essentially, too smart for its own good, and it adapts to whatever you throw at it, for better or worse.
Think about it in cave man terms. If you restrict your diet harshly and only give it a certain amount of calories or certain types of foods, it assumes that that’s what your primal human body needs to survive. It says,
“Oh no! Not much food to be had in these woods right now, I suppose I should ration out this body fat and learn to survive on less.”
And then when you’ve slimmed down and gone off your diet, resuming your usual calorie intake or lifestyle, your body says,
“Finally— we’re not gonna die— that’s awesome! Better continue to store this body fat in a safe place in case there’s another dry spell.”
And guess where your genius-of-a-body stores that extra fat? Your thighs, your love handles, your chin…you get the idea.
In short, any diet that has a start and an end date won’t work the way you want it to because it just doesn’t work that way biologically.
However, there’s a bigger reason people “fail” at dieting. It’s not because they’re lazy or lacking in willpower (that’s just a sad stereotype perpetuated by a society with a proclivity towards “fat shaming”), it's because they’re using temporary or misguided fixes to solve a bigger, more long-term problem. Which brings me to the key point here:
The reason these 20% of people succeed in dieting is because they understand something fundamental about health, which is that only way to really lose weight, tone up, and get healthy for good is to change your lifestyle.
Now that means a lot of things— some big, some tiny— and it means something different for every person.
It could mean less carbs and more sleep.
Or more fat and less cardio.
These changes could be as small as drinking a tall glass of water in the morning, or as big as getting rid of toxic people in your life.
Everyone has their own special *secret sauce,” their own combination of things that’ll keep them in optimal health.
And you know what the biggest and most important ingredient of that sauce is?
Loving your lifestyle. If you don’t love it, you’re not gonna stick to it, it’s as simple as that.
And that, my friend, is the difference between those who fail and those who succeed.
The weight loss champions love their new lifestyle— they’re addicted to it.
But those healthy addictions don’t happen overnight. They take time, consistent exercise, habits work, and lots of accountability.
But where to start?
It’s starts with the little things.
It starts with moderation. It starts by changing one small thing at a time so that, over time, you come to crave better foods and a better lifestyle. I call these sustainable changes “microshifts” and they’re surprisingly powerful.
You don’t have to go on the Whole 30, you don’t have to join a crossfit gym, and you certainly don’t have to give up a well deserved cocktail every now and then.
You just have to find a balance that works for you and get accountable to it.
