4 Hacks to Stop Anxiety In Its Tracks

If anxiety is holding you back, this quick 5 min video is for you.

While not all anxiety is bad (discomfort can provide useful information, after all), it can hold you back and get in the way of your goals. So next time you feel anxious, ask yourself:

• Is this anxiety trying to tell me something important? (“Run, b$tch! This situation is no bueno!”)

• Or is it pulling me away from my goals? (“Taking risks suuuucks. Let’s just curl up in a ball and stay inside our comfort zone, shall we?”)

If you sense it’s the latter, just follow these 4 simple steps to stop anxiety in its tracks so you on with the ever-important task of livin’ ya best life.

An Open Letter to My Unborn Son

Big news - I’m preggers! Expecting! Knocked up! (Yes, I’m bringing yet another white male into this world.)

While I’m obviously very excited, I’ll be honest, with all that’s going on socially, politically, and everything-ly, it’s an odd time to be introducing new life onto the planet. It’s intimidating, to say the least. However, I can’t help but remain hopeful.

Which is why I wanted to take this moment to not only announce my pregnancy but also to write an open letter of sorts to my unborn child. I hit on all the big stuff: cancel culture, climate change, death, and, of course, banana nut muffins. I hope you give it a watch.

The 5 Simple Steps that Guarantee Success

The next 3 minutes might just change your life…

Tune in as l share all the time-tested secrets to success that’ll give you the confidence and courage to smash your goals and get where you wanna go. Whatever you want to do with your life, these are the 5 simple steps to unstoppable success.

And before you assume you’ve “heard it all before,” trust me: you’ve never heard advice like this before.

Here's how the whole "manifesting" thing actually works

Ok, real talk? I have some mixed emotions about the idea of “manifesting.”

I know the whole “law of attraction” thing is basically a religion for some folks, and I have no doubt this video will likely land a few strongly worded emails in my inbox. Even so, here it is: my no-holds-barred, honest opinion about all things manifest, beginning with the book that started it all, “The Secret.”

This episode's a long one, but if you can stick with it, there's a lot in store, including what's actually happening when you "manifest,” why some people are more naturally positive than others, and, lastly, how to attract love, success, and good stuff into your life (hint: it has less to do with "the Universe" and more to do with "channeling your attention").

Is this the *cheat code* for feeling happy?

This ridiculously simple happiness hack releases serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins instantly.

For many of us, happiness doesn’t always come all that easily. We fuss and we grind, spending outrageous amounts of time, energy, and money trying to make ourselves happier. We buy sports cars and run marathons, but, at the end of the day, happiness - or any positive emotion for that matter - may actually be much more accessible (and a hell of a lot less expensive) than we might think.

Thich Nhat Hanh once noted that "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." Could happiness be a lot easier than we’re making it?

The Surprising Truth About Getting Motivated

When we talk about self-improvement, what we're usually talking about is motivation and self-discipline.

We all know we can benefit from more exercise, less processed food, blah blah blah. So why don't we do it? Why does it feel so hard to put on our proverbial running shoes when we know it's so good for us?

Nearly every one of my clients describes themselves as "lazy" at one point or another (even the CEOs, Broadway performers, and top dollar attorneys.)

So let's get one thing clear: I can almost guarantee you're not lazy, you've just fallen into a classic trap of misunderstood motivation.

How to Stop Procrastinating

A recent study revealed that 50% of employees feel burnt out these days. That’s half the workforce! 

…Yeesh.

What a time to be alive!

So how do we regain focus in this age of Zoom, longer hours, and seemingly overwhelming responsibilities?

Here's the Biggest Mistake Dieters Make

Diets don’t work. (Sorry.) 80% of people who go on a diet will gain the weight back in less than a year, and, in all but 15% of those cases, will end up even heavier.

What’s goin’ on here?

When all is said and done, healthy living is as much a psychological process as it is a physical one (I’d argue even more so), and to neglect the emotional elephants in the room is to kiss your healthy goals goodbye…

I say it’s high time we rethink our approach.

Having political disagreements? Read this

The first thing you say to someone who’s being sucked into a cult is not “This is crazy! Can’t you see you’re being manipulated? You need to get out now!” 

You start by asking questions. “What do you find appealing about this group?”

Now, this is not to say that political affiliations are cults (with the exception of QAnon and a few others), but it is to say that calling peoples’ beliefs “crazy” will, without a doubt, work the opposite way you want it to. 

Additionally, trying to appeal to their better senses with rational arguments will, more often than not, only broaden the distance between you and your miffed interlocutor, as “logic” is oftentimes the justification of already held beliefs, not the precursor to it.

This is all to say that whether you love Trump or hate him, you’re not going to convince anyone otherwise unless you’re willing to listen, relate, and be vulnerable.

At the end of the day, we as humans are far more similar than we are different. We all eat, sleep, poop, and have the same general hierarchy of needs, and yet it becomes so easy to fixate on the minuscule differences that threaten to tear us apart if we’re not careful. 

If you’re looking to change someone’s mind, you’re going to have to start by:

• listening for understanding (“That’s interesting, tell me more about that”)

• being honest and vulnerable (“You know, I’m not actually sure what the exact number is, but it seems high and that scares me”)

• spotlighting what the two of you have in common (“I also hate feeling so divided”)

But this is easier said than done, right? We can start a conversation with the best of intentions, then suddenly faces are flushing and plates are flying. While it’s totally natural to become angry and passionate, this rush of adrenaline works against us in a quite literal way. It flushes blood away from our brains and into our bodies, as our cortisol rises and our adrenaline surges. We stop thinking rationally, and we start feeling like all we want to do is punch the other person in the face. Whether or not fists actually fly, it’s safe to say that arguments will get less lucid and more malicious.

The only way to combat this instinct to turn your political adversary into a big, red punching bag is to take a breath (a literal breath, not a metaphorical one) in order to lower your cortisol. Then, try your best to listen rather than react, to engage with your intellect, not your emotions.

Listening for actual, genuine understanding means you’ll have to stay present, empathetic, and open-minded with whatever comes out of the other person’s mouth. Listening for understanding is not planning out what you’re going to say next, trampling over their points by interrupting, or checking out whenever they speak. It may also look like rolling with resistance, one of the foundational elements of Motivational Interviewing, wherein you invite new perspectives without imposing them.

Genuine listening creates a magical shift in any conversation. I know this for a fact because, as a coach, I see it happen right before my own eyes time and again. Be genuinely curious. Ask open-ended questions. Remain open-minded. Once your conversationalist feels seen, heard, and understood, they suddenly start to feel a sense of safety that lowers their defenses and makes them more open to new ideas.

The reverse also holds true. The more UN-safe your partner feels, the more likely they are to dig their feet in the ground, cross their arms, and go on the defensive.

Once your political dialogist feels safe, however, then you can start to have a more open, honest conversation. This will require vulnerability and transparency on your part. If you’re cloudy on the exact facts or context of a certain issue, be transparent about it. You don’t have to know every single statistic and detail to make your point. The worst thing you could do is pontificate inaccurately about something you’re only half clear on. Most people aren’t stupid, and they’ll pick up on your B.S. handily. Be upfront, be honest, and treat your conversationalist with the same level of respect you’d like in return.

Additionally, make it a point to find common ground wherever possible. “You know, I agree that Biden seems a bit sleepy and slow talking.” Or, “You’re right, Trump can be a big a-hole at times.” Common ground takes you off the court and settles you on the same bench, where both of you can start to open up with the shared goal of getting closer to the truth.

Will all this feel fair? Probably not. Will it be easy? Certainly no. Will it allow you to NOT ruin friendships, create familial chaos, and distance yourself from those you love? Abso-freakin-lutely.

How To Be Happy When It Feels Impossible

Sometimes I feel guilty about being a generally happy person. I mean, there’s so much suffering in the world - how dare I smile and laugh and go to the beach, ya know? 

Sometimes my psyche is screaming, “People everywhere are dying from Covid! How dare you drink smoothies and go hiking and watch Netflix. Wipe that smile off your face, and fix the world already, would you?!”

But, of course, not knowing exactly how to fix the world, I'm usually left feeling snippy, exhausted, and avoidant.

Nonetheless, it can feel nobler to be miserable, like the only way to be truly *woke* is to be furious, anxious, and depressed.

Plus, it can be hard to take happy people seriously. They appear flighty, vapid, and wholly disconnected from the “real world,” a world dripping with injustice, pain, and uncertainty. Happiness, in these cases, looks more like denial than anything else.

It feels all too easy to balk at happiness as some eye-rolling-ly entitled American fixation.

So I’d like to take a moment to defend happiness, for all of you and also for myself.

Let's start with the fact that misery is easy. It’s easy to defend. It’s easy to lean into. It’s easy to commiserate about and rally around.

Happiness is hard. It’s hard to smile in the middle of a global pandemic. It’s hard to laugh when people are marching in the streets. It’s hard to enjoy the sunshine when the planet is rapidly warming. 

To maintain a demeanor of positivity and cheeriness amidst everything that's going on in the world is to engage in an oftentimes exhausting, difficult, and thankless endeavor.

And yet...

Happy people are statistically more likely to give back to their communities in charitable ways. They're also more likely to inspire happiness amongst those around them. They make better parents, better leaders, and better employees.

This means that your happiness is, in many ways, an essential prerequisite to effectively helping others. And what’s the point of helping others if not to make their lives happier, safer, and more prosperous? And if their happiness matters, doesn’t yours?

I view happiness as a choice (as opposed to some accidental side effect of being me). I choose to be happy not because it’s easier, but because it's better. For everybody. There's work to be done in this world and it's sure as shit not going to happen by me complaining to my friends, snickering at the news, and tossing and turning at night.

Happiness is hope and hope is essential.

So let's choose to be happy together, for the sake of our own well-being but, more importantly, for the well-being of the world at large.

4 practical ways you can choose happiness:

1. Foster close relationships

Studies have shown that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives and are better predictors of long-term happiness (and health to a large degree) than social class, IQ, or genetics.

2. Practice gratitude

A “gratitude journal” (wherein you list a few things you’re grateful for each day) can be a ridiculously effective way to shift your mindset from fixating on what you don’t have to appreciating what you do. This simple mindset shift alone has the capacity to fully transform how you view the world around you.

3. Reroute your status anxiety

Status anxiety = anxiety about what others think of you; about whether you’re a success or a failure, a winner or a loser. While comparing yourself to others is an inescapable part of the human experience (and nearly impossible to overcome entirely, since you’re cognitively wired to do so), you can choose what type of comparison is worth your anxiety. Is it artistry and mastery of a craft? Spiritual enlightenment? Truth telling? Whatever it is, choose wisely. Your happiness depends on it.

4. Help others

Helping others gives life greater meaning, and, in turn, makes a person happier and more likely to keep doing it. It’s an addictive, highly rewarding cycle and one in which everyone wins.

So next time you find yourself falling down a widening hole of existential dread, try asking yourself: what’s one thing I can do today to choose happiness?

The Surprising "Secret" to Sustained Health & Wellness

A quick google search on anything even mildly health-related will most likely produce a stream of “fat-blasting secrets,” “miracle” supplements, and the newest, hottest wellness “experience."

As you may have figured out by now, when it comes to wellness, there are no miracles and there are no secrets. (Sorry.)

Wellness, unfortunately, is not a thing that can be sold, and I pride myself on being the type of coach who refuses to feed into the machine of beautifully packaged snake oil.

As it turns out, the “secret” to sustained wellness, if there is one, lies less in the body and more in the brain because, at the end of the day, the trick to healthy living is not the doing it but the sticking with it.

Health isn’t something you can purchase or a program you can sign up for, it’s a lifestyle, which has little to do with green powders in shiny packaging and everything to do with — you guessed it — habits.

Ah, yes, habits. Those sneaky practices that dictate 40% of everything we do throughout the day. They’re incredibly hard to form and even harder to break. However, they’re utterly essential when it comes to creating lasting behavior change (since we as humans are oftentimes hardwired against change).

We’re instant gratification creatures by nature, with needy, aggressive reward centers, and we’d be stupid to pretend that we can fight against our natural instincts every damn day for the rest of our lives through sheer willpower and motivation alone. When it comes to changing our exercise routine, or going to bed an hour earlier, or eating more slowly, if it doesn’t become a habit, it won’t stick. It’s as simple as that.

So how do we make and break these elusive habits? The answer lies in the understanding that all habits exist in a “habit loop,” consisting of three components:

The “CUE” : Something that triggers your brain to switch into ‘autopilot.’

The “ROUTINE” : The physical, mental, or emotional “autopilot” response.

The “REWARD” : The prize at the end for responding to the cue and acting on it.

These habit loops emerge because the brain is constantly looking for ways to conserve effort. Think about it; if you had to give full focus to every tiny detail throughout the day, you’d barely make it out of the house after waking up, showering, getting dressed, making coffee, brushing your teeth, etc. Because we do these routines every morning, our brains have latched onto the routine, and we don’t have to actively focus on any of these tasks, leaving us the brain space to focus on other things, like designing irrigation systems, or building cities, or trying to figure out why you never see baby pigeons. (But, like, seriously, why have I never seen a baby pigeon?!) This is all to say that habits give us a huge evolutionary advantage, which is why they’re so pervasive.

When left to their own devices, our brains will try to make a habit out of anything and everything it can find continued repetition in. When a habit is created, the brain stops participating in any active decision-making and simply rides the wave.

This is where things can get dangerous in terms of health. If you indulge in an unhealthy action with enough consistency, it’ll eventually become a habit, often without you ever even noticing it. Suddenly, you’ve gained weight, you’ve neglected to work out in months, and you’re left wondering, “Why can’t I get just back on track? How is this so hard?”

The good news is that by learning to recognize your unhealthy habit cues, you can hack into your “routines” and replace your bad habit loops with better ones. It all comes down to shifting your “autopilot” settings. And, in order to do that, you’re gonna have to spend some time identifying your habit loops.

Let me give you an example.

I used to work part-time in an office in midtown Manhattan where they would provide a pantry full of snacks that lived behind the water cooler. 

One day I was filling up my water bottle around midday and I caught sight of a shiny bag of Stacy’s Pita Chips. Though I knew they weren’t particularly healthy (don’t be fooled by the healthy-looking packaging), I figured, “Whatever, it’s just for today.” I grabbed a bag and brought it back to my desk.

The next day I was in the office, I went to fill up my water bottle around midday and spotted the chips again. “Ooh. I could totally go for some Stacy’s!” Fast forward a few weeks and, without doubt, every day I was there, I’d get a midday Stacy’s craving.

I had, unknowingly, created a habit loop:

The “CUE” : Visiting the water cooler to refill my water bottle.

The “ROUTINE” : Grabbing the chips.

The “REWARD” : Delicious, carby sodium-packed goodness.

And there it was: a pita loop, if you will.

So how was I to break this bad habit? Should I stop visiting the water cooler? Should I try to flex my willpower muscles harder? I would try both, and neither would work.

Why? Because willpower is unreliable, and removing the “cue” was not an option (as it rarely is).

Instead of attempting to force these types of dead-end solutions, it’s always going to be infinitely easier to simply replace a bad habit with a better one, which, eventually, I did. After a little creativity, a new habit loop was born:

The “CUE” : Visiting the water cooler to refill my water bottle.

The “ROUTINE” : Instead of grabbing the chips, I stocked the office fridge with carrots sticks and hummus, which I would put on a small plate and eat at the table next to the water cooler.

The “REWARD” : Delicious, savory goodness, and the knowledge I was putting something wholesome in my body.

Boom. A bad habit swapped for a good one.

And here’s the thing: when it comes to wellness practices, it can actually be quite easy to latch onto healthy routines. Why? Because they’re inherently rewarding. They make you feel good, and thus they become quickly addictive.

Think about the first time you tried coffee or wine. If you don’t remember, ask any kid who’s tried it once and they’ll assure you: it’s disgusting and gross and adults are weird. Both are bitter and sharp and acidic. However, once you’ve been drinking either for a period of time, you quickly come to crave that bitter acidity because of their associations with states slightly better than sobriety.

In that same way, you can train your brain to crave working out, eating well, meditating, or participating in any other pursuit that makes your body feel amazing. And exercise will undeniably make you feel good. It just will. As will eating better, getting more sleep, managing your stress, and the rest of it.

So here’s the big secret: if you stick with a healthy lifestyle long enough, you’ll never revert back to your old ways because you won’t want to. You won’t be able to. You’ll have one bad weekend, feel like crap, and hop right back on the wagon, because this particular wagon is blatantly better than the one in which you feel sluggish, heavy, and stressed.

Sure, kale doesn’t taste great the first time you try it. But if you force yourself to eat it with enough frequency, you’ll find your body will subconsciously start to crave it because it always makes you feel good; and your body, for better or worse, is all about feeling good. Give yourself some time and an open mind, and you’ll be amazed at all the healthy stuff you’ll start to crave.

Here’s some more good news: because healthy living is inherently rewarding, you don’t really have to have an understanding of habit loops in order to change your habits for the healthier. You just have to be able to identify a bad habit and commit to replacing it with a better one, be it going to bed earlier (swapping out a late night Insta-scroll for turning the lights out?), meditating every day (trading your morning news for a guided meditation?), or working out (substituting your commute home for a trip to the gym?).

When it comes to creating a healthy habit, if you believe in it and commit to it, there’s not a proverbial chip bag you can’t outsmart.

92% of People Fail to Keep Their New Year's Resolutions. Here's What the Other 8% Do.

1. They don't rely on motivation or willpower

Let's talk about the sexiest word in the human language: accountability. 

Are you so hot right now, or what? 

Kidding. But seriously, it's a bummer-of-a-word that I happen to be wildly passionate about. Why? Because this word holds the key to unlocking anything you want in life.

Cause here’s the thing: there’s a golden rule of goal setting that dictates that motivation and willpower don’t work.

Motivation and willpower are fair-weather friends, and they do not have your back. They’re wildly unreliable, and to employ them as the backbone of your resolution, would be to set yourself up for a very disappointing February.

They're like that "artsy burner couple" you sometimes go to dinner with: they're fun when things are going well, but ask them for a favor when you need them most and they're suddenly "out of pocket."

I know this sounds crazy coming from an accountability coach. I mean, isn’t that exactly what I’m supposed to be doing here? Motivating you to be better?

Not at all.

Counterintuitive as this all may seem, I'm sure it rings true.

Maybe you’ve gotten really motivated to get up early to hit the gym, get a nice sweat in before work, and then when the moment comes - BANG! Snooze button. Motivation GONE.

Or maybe you’re sitting in front of the TV late at night, and you promise yourself you’re only gonna grab a handful of pretzels until suddenly - without even really noticing - you’ve eaten the whole bag. Willpower GONE.

So, at this point, you’re probably wondering, “What the hell does work?" Simple answer: habits.

2. Resolution champions create "intelligent habits"

Now here’s a crazy statistic: habits dictate 40% of our lives.

Really think about that for a moment. 40% of your life is just on autopilot! Every time you brush your teeth, make coffee, or commute to work, you're likely engaged in habit, meaning that you just do it without thinking about it. No decisions are made, no motivation required.

Habits are effortless. Compulsory. And, more importantly, they’re long-lasting. So once you create a habit - you’re golden. It’s not goin’ anywhere.

So let’s talk goals. Those things you wanna achieve! Those results you want to see! That person you wanna become!

Your goals, whatever they may be, can be achieved pretty easily without the need for any motivation or willpower, so long as you simply implement the right habits. Those results you're looking for are just the inevitable consequences of good habits.

Habits are the algorithms that power our lives and determine our outcomes. 

They’re the foundation on which we’re able to architect our ideal future.

And the best part? Habits make achieving goals feel effortless. They don’t require motivational talks or mantras or willpowers of steel. They're easy. You don’t even think about it.

So, the next question is, "How the hell do I create a habit?"

3. They have an accountability structure in place

Habits are created through consistency, and consistency is created through accountability.

Put another way:

If you’re trying to achieve a goal, all you need to do is determine the habits required to achieve this goal, and throw in some accountability. It’s as simple as that.

Accountability builds consistency, which leads to habit.

For those who struggle with internal accountability (being accountable to yourself), it's important to set up a structure of external accountability by way of a coach, accountabilibuddy, or group who depends on you to follow through.

4. Their resolutions are actionable and realistic

"Losing weight” and “being better at managing stress” are pretty general goals. They're not very actionable, nor are they specific. They're not things you could easily check off a “to-do” list.

Broad goals like these will oftentimes lead to stagnation and anxiety, because, let’s be honest, they sound super overwhelming.

So let’s get specific.

What does it actually take to lose weight and manage stress?

If you’re committed to weight loss, perhaps you can start by working out 2 days a week before work, meal prepping for 90 minutes every Sunday evening, or packing your lunch during the workweek. Sounds much more doable, don't you think?

In that same vein, "managing stress" might turn into meditating for 10 minutes every morning, getting at least 7 1/2 hrs of sleep every night, or putting your phone on airplane mode after 9 pm (so you’re not tempted to check your alerts, scroll social media, or refresh your email late into the evening). Again, much more doable.

5. They don't do it alone

Our lives don't exist in a vacuum, nor do our resolutions, so it's important to ensure you have support. Loop in a friend, partner, or, of course, a coach.

You need someone who will hold your feet to the fire and push you through your slumps in motivation and willpower; someone to help you stay focused, thwart excuses, and remember why you're doing all of this in the first place.

Because I promise you this: what's on the other side is worth it.

If you don't know exactly who that person could be for you, I invite you to apply for a complimentary coaching call, where we'll clarify your goals, break them down into actionable habits, and create an accountability structure for unshakable follow-through.

What No One’s Telling You About Confidence and Happiness

As far as I can see it, the path to happiness and confidence lies in the pursuit of balancing out two extremes: ambition and acceptance.

As a coach, whenever I ask people about their goals, most people include some version of, "I just want to be confident and happy!”

But here's the thing: neither can be obtained or achieved or even measured. They’re volatile and elusive practices with inconsistent outcomes.

This is perhaps why there's so much mixed messaging around it.

On one extreme, you have the shiny-shoed, glittery-eyed Tony Robbins' of the world, preaching that the path to self-actualization is through emotional mastery and bold action. “You can have everything you've ever wanted and more if you simply do the right personal development work!”

Sounds enticing, no?

But, if that's the case, then why aren’t all Tony Robbins’ fans billionaires with six packs and perfect marriages?

Don't get me wrong, I love a good Tony Robbins YouTube binge from time to time, but the whole “I did it and you can too” idea, though alluring, loses some credibility knowing that Tony Robbins is an incredibly intelligent, charming, and statuesque white male who speaks more eloquently and assuredly than most people ever could on their best possible day.

This is all to say that, while I like the spirit of all this stuff, if you ask me, it's just not that easy.

On the other extreme, you have the soft-talking, mantra-wielding spiritual gurus, quietly propounding that the path to contentedness is by being monk-like and wanting for nothing. "Just be mindful and present, and everything you need will present itself through the very act of following the breath and being in the now!" 

Sounds easy enough when they say it like that, huh?

And yet, I know that, for me, it's so often the case that when I try to be still and "follow my breath," I somehow end up following a mental stream of endless "to do" lists and thinking about that stupid thing I should've said differently.

So…

One camp is telling us to rev up and act boldly. 

And the other camp is telling us to slow down and simplify.

Who’s right?

Well, I’ve thought about this a lot, and here’s my take:

As tends to be the case with most things in life, I think the capital “T” Truth lies somewhere in between these equally wise extremes. On one hand, if you can’t find a way to be satisfied with enough, you'll likely never be satisfied with anything; on the other hand, if you never strive for anything, you're destined for a passionless life of stagnation and meaninglessness.

Thus, your happiest, most confident you is probably going to be a beautifully messy mishmash of contradictions.

It’ll be serene simplicity one day, and fiery ambition the next. 

It’ll be a quiet morning reading a book, and a wild night out with the gals.

Like life, your happiest, most confident self will be frustratingly erratic and refreshingly malleable.

The path to the best you is less a straight, tree-lined path to bliss, and more a winding scenic highway that sometimes looks beautiful and sometimes makes you car sick. It's the kind of road without signs, proper lighting, or cell reception; the kind of confusing backwoods highway that makes you both marvel at its beauty and grumble in frustration as you yell absurdly at the open, un-answering road,

“It’s 2019 for crying out loud! We have Google Maps and Siri and all sorts of technology! How have they not figured this out by now?!”

And what can I say? It's a fair question, my friend. A fair question, indeed.

The Most Bizarre (But Most Effective) Health Hack of Them All

Scientists have discovered a new depression treatment more powerful than Prozac, Effexor, and the other four leading antidepressants currently on the market: your mind.

You've probably heard of the Placebo Effect.

It's become so ubiquitous that we rarely stop to consider its mind-blowing implications, even though it effectively “treats” everything from acute pain to chronic fatigue.

But, because of its clinically questionable ethics and the fact that we don’t fully understand how it works, many tend to write it off as evidence that people are gullible and too easily manipulated; the clinical version of a P.T. Barnum menagerie.

However, if you really examine the Placebo Effect, I mean really think about its implications, it’ll flip your whole world upside down. 

Can our imaginations heal us? 

Can our belief systems reverse sickness? 

Taken out of context, these questions sound utterly ridiculous, right? And yet, there’s undeniable evidence supporting both counts.

For reasons still not understood, the simple belief that one is being treated for sickness (whether founded or not) leads to actual healing, improvement of symptoms, and in some cases, a complete reversal of illness. 

Since the early 1960s, virtually every clinical drug trial has been required by the FDA to be “placebo-controlled,” meaning that, in order to become an approved drug, it has to prove itself more effective than a placebo. In other words, a lot of drugs work, but few work better than your brain.

This is not to say that your belief systems alone can heal all ailments, it’s just to say that you have an incredibly potent drug sitting between your ears, and that’s a powerful position to be in.

This "potent drug" is the reason I refuse to call myself a “health coach,” and instead opt for the title of “Wellness and Accountability Coach.” A health coach will tell you what to eat, when to work out, and how to make healthy lifestyle choices.

An Accountability Coach (which, for the record, is a title of my own creation) will do the same, but also ensure you’re leveraging the most powerful tool you have when it comes to your health and wellbeing: that lump of pillowy mass inside your scull, which is, paradoxically, both predisposed for negativity and overflowing with positive potential.

While this may sound like therapy, it’s not. Therapy is, in many ways, concerned about uncovering the “why’s.” Why do I act like this? Why am I this way?  It's highly interested in the past and what has been. 

Coaching, on the other hand, is all about future potential and action; finding what works and leveraging it. If a certain behavior produces positive results, we work on replicating, regimenting, and reproducing that behavior, regardless of why it works. For example, if meditating doesn’t seem to be reducing your stress, but beading bracelets, for whatever reason, transports you to a place of total flow, great. Grab the string, and let’s do it.

Coaching, in a sense, is all about finding your personal placebo pill combination; building a collection of little actions that allow your brain to do its best work and heal whatever ails you from the inside out. What makes you feel happy, well, and healthy? Is it yoga? Salads? Spending time in the outdoors? 

Whatever your particular placebo cocktail might be, your best life means ensuring you take it with regimented consistency, just as you would an actual medication.

Here's the Truth About Carbs

Sit down, honey. We need to have a talk. It's about... *breathes deeply* ...carbs.

If you’ve spent any time in nutritional circles recently, you might’ve noticed there’s a bit of a “war on bread” happening right now.

Fall down a low-carb-loving Reddit rabbit hole and you’ll hear lifestyle advice to the tune of:

“Look at me, I'm eating pork rinds for breakfast and I'm healthier and happier than you’ll ever be!”

(This is a real comment by the way.)

Or: “Bread kills..”

(Also real).

Or this picture, accentuated by the caption: ”I gave up carbs and sugar, so this is how my family celebrated my birthday. I love them.”

(The realest.)

Then, on the opposite side of this argument, you have the whole #CarbsAreGood movement, filled with sourdough-obsessed biohackers and jacked-up bagel-eating Instagram influencers.

Who to trust?

Let’s get to the bottom of this by taking a brief walk through history…

Rewind the clock to the mid-1800s with the invention of the roller mill. Before this, grains were ground in whole form, including the germ and the bran. Since the 1800s, however, we’ve found progressively ingenious ways to extract certain parts of the grain, primarily the starchy endosperm, to create fluffy-soft white grain with an exceptionally long shelf life.

As you might’ve guessed, this process of extraction diminishes the grains’ nutritional content, and the pillowy, white product that results is, at its core, what we’ve come to know as “white bread.”

Funnily enough, “white bread” is also what my neighbors used to call me when I lived in Washington Heights. It’s cause I’m so pillowy soft!

…Right?

Moving on.

Jump ahead to the 1960s, when Norman Borlaug, who would one day go on to win the Nobel Peace Prize, invented a type of hybrid wheat that, when grown with fertilizers, produced three times the yield of normal wheat and, subsequently, helped nourish a famished India and Pakistan. “Go Norman,” right? Unfortunately, this came with some unintended consequences, as it sent an inspired agribusiness industry down a mass-monoculture-production-path of no return. (Mono-cultured crops, by the way, equal less nutritious crops.)

All of that brings us to today, where mass-produced, nutrient-depleted, refined grains have become utterly ubiquitous. 

But wait a second!

What about “whole grain” bread? That’s better, right? 

Mostly, yes. 

But let’s first start by acknowledging that many breads claiming to be “healthy” or “whole grain” are actually not that at all.

Make sure, when bread shopping, that the first word in the ingredients list is “whole” — you’d be shocked how many “healthy” bread products are actually just variations on refined white bread. Any labels claiming “Made with Whole Grains” or “Multigrain” most likely mean “Various Refined Flours with a Sad Pinch of Whole Grains.”

What’s more, depending on how much of a conspiracy theorist you’re willing to be, suspicions might arise once you start to explore the controversy surrounding whether these 100% whole wheat products are actually healthy at all, as many are simply roller-milled flour with the germ and bran added back in after the fact. And, in case you were wondering, no, the FDA does not currently verify these products’ compositions before they land on your supermarket’s shelves, where they miraculously still retain their long shelf lives.

But just to be clear, none of this means that I don’t want you to eat bread.

My goal is for you to make better carb choices in general, and when you do consume bread, to remember the first-word-in-the-ingredients-list-should-be-“whole” principle. Or, ideally, opt for breads that are sprouted or fermented, two preparation processes that unlock the bread’s nutritional properties.

Cause here’s the bottom line: not all carbs are equal. Despite what many Reddit threads may have you believe, carbs themselves are not bad for you, nor do they make you gain weight. Processed carbs do, but healthy, whole carbs? No way.

Fruits, starchy veggies, legumes, and tubers are all nutritional powerhouses.

Steer clear of refined and processed carbs such as chips, baked goods, and all non-natural sugars.

(And, yes, sugar is indeed a carb. Sorry.)

That said, this day and age it’s nearly impossible to avoid refined sugar altogether, so just do your best to reduce consumption as much as possible. Also, keep in mind that sugar goes by many names and is in nearly everything. Here are some of the disguises sugar wears on packaging and food labels:

• Dextrose

• Fructose

• Corn  Syrup

• High Fructose Corn Syrup

• Evaporated Cane Juice

…And many others. (If you’re unsure what a certain ingredient is, Google it.)

Here’re some of my favorite healthier carb swaps:

• Baked Goods —> Fresh Fruit

• Candy —> No Sugar Added Dried Fruit

• Processed Bread —> Sprouted Grain or (Real) Whole Grain Bread

• Pasta —> Black Bean, Brown Rice, or Banza Pasta

• White Rice —> Brown Rice, Quinoa, Farrow, and Other Whole Grains

• Potatoes —> Potatoes (See what I did there? Potatoes, as it turns out, are a vegetable, and vegetables, as it turns out, are good for you.)

In conclusion, a calorie is not a calorie is not a calorie, which is to say that not all carbs (or calories) are created equal. Carbs themselves won’t make you overweight, lethargic, or sick, only certain types of carbs will do that. So eat more whole foods, less processed ones, and please, whatever you do, do NOT pretend that a steak could ever take the place of a birthday cake.

Mindfulness In Real Life

A recorded moment from my Mindfulness & Meditation event last week.

Ever since my near-death experience in Peru a few months back, I've been thinking a lot about mindfulness.

And I'm not alone. Mental health professionals, businesses, and wellness-seekers alike are all turning to mindfulness practices to reduce anxiety, enhance focus & creativity, and infuse joy and meaning into their lives.

So what is mindfulness, and how do we incorporate it into our hectic, digitized 21st-century lives?

WHAT IS MINDFULNESS?

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in any given moment and having an awareness of what's going on internally and externally. 

On a good day, it's inextricable from gratitude. On a bad day, it's simply having a moment-to-moment awareness of what's going on in and around you.

This simple act has the capacity to heal you on many levels, reenergize your life, and foster compassion, resilience, and emotional intelligence.

An important thing to note is that mindfulness is NOT about trying to shut up your brain.

Outside of deep meditation, that inner chatter never goes away. (Sorry.) Mindfulness is just about getting present to the chatter, without judgment.

HOW TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS IN EVERYDAY LIFE:

1. Meditate

Apps like HeadSpace and Inscape make it super easy. Also, don't feel like you need to commit 30-60 minutes to reap the benefits. Start with 5 minutes, sometimes that's all it takes.

Body scans are a proven way to quickly reduce stress and anxiety.

2. Do a Quick Body Scan

Close your eyes and bring your attention to different parts of your body. Notice tension points and try to relax them. "Breath" into each part, especially your tension points, starting with the crown of your head all the way to your toes.

Mindful eating also helps you lose weight and feel more satisfied by your meals.

3. Try Mindful Eating

Eat your meals slowly and savor every bite, noticing all the different flavors and textures, as well as how it feels in your mouth and going down your throat.

4. Find Your "Mindfulness Anchors"

These are daily actions that remind you to get present, even during your most scattered, stressful times.

My personal mindfulness anchors are things I reliably do every day: shower, lotion my face, and eat lunch. They’re not “mindfulness activities” as much as they are “things I’m doing anyway,” so I might as well make them mindful. For example, instead of just showering, I try to appreciate the feeling of hot water on my skin, and remove all other thoughts as I do so.

5. Allow Yourself to Just BE

All you have to do to have a mindful moment is to make a conscious effort to focus on the present moment, without judgement. This can be sitting in a sunny corner with your eyes closed or standing in line at CVS. It all counts!

How do YOU practice mindfulness? What works for you? Comment below.

I Almost Died in Peru. Here's What Happened.

They say lightning never strikes twice.

Well, as of last week, I happen to know for a fact that it does.

The sky is a dull haze of gray as we take off from the Cusco airport in Peru, a charming mountain town with an elevation nearly as wicked as its spicy cuisine. We’re en route to Lima, where a fancy dinner reservation awaits us, a final meal before we head back to the States.

That dinner never happens.

About ten minutes after our departure, there’s a bit of turbulence as Cusco fades from view and a thick, textureless fog overtakes the plane. 

An early morning of Amazonian jungle activities has me beat, and I start to doze off listening to a podcast interview with Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese zen mindfulness guru, speaking on the topic of suffering and how we should aim not to avoid it, but to embrace it as a tool for cultivating compassion and an awakened appreciation for all life has to offer, both the dark parts and the multitudes of tiny miracles we take for granted every day.

Amen, Thich Nhat Hanh. Amen.

I’m floating in and out of sleep, half dreaming and half pondering the casual miracles of life, when—

BAM!

My eyes are closed, but I can still see the flash through my eyelids. More importantly, I feel the flash, which shakes the entire plane in a quick, sharp jolt, like someone pushing you from behind suddenly. Reflexive gasps and screams reverberate through the cabin, as previously silent passengers start to sit up, look around, and whisper feverishly in different languages. 

I pull out my headphones and turn to my travel buddies. 

“What the hell was that?”

A heavy, expectant silence ensues, as we passengers wait impatiently for an announcement over the intercom, hopefully a friendly voice assuring us not to worry, this kind of thing happens all the time.

Instead, a sparse series of dings and the occasional flashing of a “fasten seatbelt” sign.

I take a long, shaky breath and tighten my seatbelt.

Some more time goes by. Still nothing.

I put away my headphones and pull out my paperback, trying unsuccessfully to concentrate on the words, as I compulsively glance out the window and read the same three sentences over and over again. 

The turbulence continues. I can’t help but think about that scene from the pilot episode of “Lost” as I take a long, unsure breath.

A couple more dings from the seatbelt sign, and then—

BAM!

Again? What the hell is going on?

Now people are starting to lose their shit. Serious conversations begin flying around in every direction in every language. Spanish, German, English, French. Turns out, losing your shit sounds just about the same in every language.

Once again, an excruciating silence ensues from the captain and crew, until finally, mercifully, the captain’s voice comes over the intercom, rambling something in Spanish I don’t quite catch in a tone that isn’t panicked per se, but certainly less than reassuring.

More chatter, more verbal chaos. All the while the plane is shaking and rumbling.

A flight attendant gets on the speaker and informs us, in English, that we’ve been struck by lightning, and we’re going to have to make an emergency landing and head back to Cusco.

Oh, crap.

People start whispering frantically again, eyes wide, hands clutching armrests. A woman down the aisle from me bows her head and mumbles a prayer in Spanish.

The plane tilts and around we go, headed back from where we came, and back into the heart of the storm, the only way down.

The temperature in the cabin starts to descend, or so I sense, as I notice myself shivering. 

If I make it out of this storm, I will be soooo mindful! Like, the most mindful person ever! I won’t take anything for granted!

After what seems like an hour, but I think was actually around 25 minutes, the plane touches down successfully in Cusco, as passengers applaud and hug.

The collective sigh of relief feels palpable.

Eventually, people start to snap back into their individual lives, the thick bind of shared experience slowly unraveling, as people take out their phones, turn to their travel partners, and collect their belongings, the stiff formality of strangers in a room taking hold once again.

“Welp, I guess we’re gonna miss dinner,” my fiancé says, always cool as a goddamn cucumber.

“Things could be worse,” I say.

“I think I’m ready for a beer,” my friend Jeremy adds. Jeremy always has the best ideas.

Nods all around.

Beer’s not really my thing, stubbornly healthy as I am, but later, in the airport, after being chaotically rerouted amidst a scene of screaming travelers not unlike Lord of the Flies, I purchase a mini bottle of twist cap Malbec from a sandwich stand.

And, I gotta say, this stupid little bottle of mediocre airport Malbec is one of the best glasses of wine I’ve ever had in my life. It’s sour-sweet juices flow deliciously down my throat and warm my chest, making me feel instantly cozy, like petting a kitten or putting on a soft sweater straight out of the dryer.

Wine is so good. 

Life is so good! 

My fiancé is so good! 

My friends and my family and my whole friggin’ existence is so good!

And for one fleeting moment of extreme, exhilarating clarity, I have a pure and unadulterated understanding of zen mindfulness, an understanding I’ve never quite been able to grasp on my yoga mat or in meditation class. And like the “ding!” of a fasten seatbelt sign, a light goes off in my head.

Oooooh. So THAT’S what mindfulness is. 

It’s a twist cap bottle of airport wine. 

An appreciation of your feet being safely on the ground. 

The quiet bliss of a shared sigh with a fellow passenger who doesn’t speak your language.

Mindfulness is just the practice of being so stoked that you’re alive. That you’re not dead in a Peruvian ditch somewhere! That even if shit hits the fan, which it inevitably will, at least we’re all hitting it together, united in our shared experience of occasional suffering, fear, pain, and pleasure too.

Namas-fucking-te!

I knew I wanted to write a blog post about my trip to Peru— maybe on the health benefits of quinoa or how enlightening it was to do my first digital detox in 3 years— but I never thought I’d end my trip atop a mindfulness soapbox, writing wide-eyed and wistful about the unspeakably beautiful miracle of airport twist top wine.

But here I am, knowing in my heart of hearts that the key to life is this**:

**presented in the traditional zen style

The key to life

is knowing the difference

between simply drinking wine

and tasting wine,

savoring it,

relishing it,

cherishing it,

in all its

acidic,

sweet,

and bitter

glory. 

Also, twist caps! So convenient, right?

In Defense of Wellness: An "Old Millennial's" Self Care Manifesto

It's been a rough week for wellness enthusiasts.

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow's $250 million lifestyle-and-wellness business, Goop, has agreed to pay $145,000 in civil penalties for promoting false and unscientific claims regarding— wait for it— jade vagina eggs and depression-curing "flower essence" sprays.

But who's surprised? Wellness scandals feel as ubiquitous as oat milk lattes these days.

Whether it's Activia Yogurt's scientifically unfounded "clinically proven probiotic bacteria", the hasty deletion of Kim Kardashian's weight-loss-lollipop post, or the stepping down of Lululemon's CEO for certain #MeToo shortcomings, the self-care movement is feeling more and more on the verge of collapse, like a house of Intuitive Healing Tarot Cards.

When I tell people I'm a Wellness Coach, I can sometimes sense I'm being perceived as just another entitled millennial snowflake, parading a passion for afternoon naps and aromatherapy salt scrubs as a job worthy of income and respect.

First off, I'd like to shake the hand of anyone that assumes I'm a millennial. (I'm 30. But yoga keeps me young!)

Second of all, before anyone goes throwing avocado toast in my face, I'd like to respectfully state my case in defense of wellness. 

So pour yourself a tall glass of matcha and saddle up my friend, cause I'm about to blow up everything you thought you knew about wellness junkies. (Before I start though, I'd like to invite you to soften your belly and take three deep inhales and three deep exhales. Mmm. You feel better now, right?)

Here goes.

Let me ask you something: what do you want most in life?

Love? Success? Power? Happiness? 

These aren’t destinations, they’re states of being— fleeting ones, no less. And no job title, income bracket, or loved one can give it to you unless you’re willing to give it to yourself. If you've ever had the experience of succeeding at something big but still feeling exactly the same afterward, you'll know exactly what I mean.

You already have within you everything you want and need, hiding between the hastily pinging synapsis inside your own skull, it’s just a matter of recognizing and feeling it. 

You’re already “whole,” as they say in the wellness community.

“Oh, ok, cool, I guess I’m ‘whole’ then; problem solved, I’ll see you later!”

…Said no one ever.

Listen, deep down we all know this concept of internal plentitude to be one of the Big Capitol T “Truth”s (and money can’t buy you happiness, power won’t give you purpose, yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it), but knowing it and feeling it are two deeply separate things. So the question then becomes: how do we feel happiness, love, success, and all the other things we hustle so hard for in life?

I'd argue that it’s a practice, which, like any other practice, takes time, repetition, and an annoying amount of unwavering persistence. You can't just decide you're "whole," you have to practice feeling it.

So: what if, throughout the course of each day, you embedded within your life little rituals and habits that gently reminded you that everything you want and need can be found within? That you have the extraordinary capacity to gift yourself respect, love, happiness, and success on a daily basis, like a delightful little door prize awarded simply for surviving the day. That you can stop worrying about pleasing and pretending and instead sit back and enjoy this fleeting roller coaster life. To me, that’s what wellness is. It’s not a kale smoothie or an $80 bottle of cucumber lotion or even the Kardashian-status beach body you know deep down is a genetic impossibility for you. It's the daily practice of wholeness and self respect.

With every stair climbed and vegetable chopped you’re sending a signal to your brain— whether conscious or not— that you’re worth the things, you do for yourself. Taking care of yourself physically means taking care of yourself physiologically. But it’s tangible, it's achievable, and, in my opinion, it's the world's best catalyst towards self-actualization and self love.

And, with that, I rest my case.

Namaste.

When Healthy Snacking Gets Dangerous: "The Snackwell Effect"

Let’s set the scene: it’s the early 1980s and the “war on fat” has just begun. The government, citing now-debunked research, decides that in order to be healthy, people need to reduce their fat consumption and focus on eating lower-fat foods. 

The snack industry, of course, sees an opportunity here. 

They take their higher fat products, reduce the fat content (in many cases just replacing it with more sugar), and market these products as “low-fat foods”. 

Consumers stroll through the snack aisle and think,

“Man, I really want some cookies, but I know I shouldn’t be eating them. Maybe I’ll just forgo the Oreos and get these healthy, Low-Fat Snackwell Cookies instead. Win-win! Damn, I’m good at grocery shopping!”

And that is how the "The Snackwell Effect" came to be.

Our shopper, sitting down that night for an episode of Married with Children, grabs the box of cookies. 

But, instead of eating her usual 5 Oreos, she chomps away at the “healthy” Low Fat Snackwells and ends up eating a full 15 cookies.

"The Snackwell Effect" is a psychological phenomenon wherein people defeat the purpose of eating a lower calorie food by eating way more of it than they would its higher calorie counterpart, consuming more calories overall. 

In short, by buying a food they deem “healthier,” they end up being worse off than if they had just gone for the unhealthy food they wanted in the first place.

So next time you accidentally polish off that big bag of Skinny Pop or finish your second bowl of Go Lean Crunch Cereal, remember that, despite your best efforts, from a caloric standpoint, you were probably better off with the Jiffy Pop and the Lucky Charms.

Th is one of the many reasons why intelligent dieting is so important.

Nutritionism

Nutrition is an incredibly complex and largely mystifying science to us, even in this day and age. We actually know astonishingly little about why certain foods do or do not work well for the human body. 

But that sucks, right? To think that a practice you engage in three times a day is barely understood?

It’s the 21st century, damnit!

This is why you’ll see so many people (and industries) treating nutrition like a religion, like a set of beliefs based primarily on theory and faith. (If you’ve ever met a particularly fiery vegan or awkwardly aggressive Paleo-enthusiast, you know exactly what I mean.)

Michael Pollan, one of the most esteemed nutrition writers of our time, refers to this phenomenon as “Nutritionism."

What Nutritionism aims to do is reduce all nutrition to its requisite parts, meaning that instead of looking at a banana and concluding that it’s healthy because many cultures have subsisted and thrived on bananas for centuries, it decides that bananas are healthy because they’re comprised of vitamin B6, manganese, vitamin C, potassium, biotin, copper, and are a good source of dietary fiber.

Sounds fair, right? None of this is untrue.

However, it’s undeniably reductionist and speaks nothing about why, when these particular vitamins and minerals are extracted and administered to a person outside of the food, that person doesn’t receive the same health benefits as the person who simply eats the banana.

This is all to say that a banana, or for that matter any food on this planet, is not the sum of its nutrient parts, but rather a food that, for some scientifically inexplicable reason, is healthy for us, and makes us feel good and live longer.

So while, like with any religion, we must respect other eaters’ beliefs, I also invite you to keep an open mind and a clear head when it comes to nutrition.

When people ask me what particular nutritional “camp” I fall into, I have no answer, since I believe that all sorts of diets work well for all different types of people, and to say otherwise would not be particularly humble.

Who am I, God?

So what CAN we say conclusively about nutrition, if anything?

The only thing that nearly every Nutritionism cult in the world can agree on is that fruits and vegetables are good, and processed food is bad. No matter who you are, if you follow these principles, you will be healthier, thinner, and, most likely, happier.

It’s important to keep perspective and remember that the nitty-gritty is less important than these  basic, overarching principles.